come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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