Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
from now on my penis is your penis
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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