wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
