Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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