shes about as inviting as chlamydia
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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