Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
