I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
