I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
