Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So vagazzling was a success
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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