he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
