I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
