Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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