i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it because I queefed?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
