Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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