is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Congratulations! We have a period
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