just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
