What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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