Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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