Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
