Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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