Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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