Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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