I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
