i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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