Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
