Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
