i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
