There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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