The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
