i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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