Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
