I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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