I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
