you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
