So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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