Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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