my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you never un-have a 4some
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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