If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
