I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
