Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
why is half of my head shaved?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
