I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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