youre lurking in front of me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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