Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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