i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize