Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
