you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
