I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
