Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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