I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
