how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he shaved USA in his pubs
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
