Betty ford says i'm here all night
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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