told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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