Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You can't just leave with hair like that
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
