So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
