i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize