Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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