you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
