I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
