He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
