I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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