what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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