i think my mom watched the whole time
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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