like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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