spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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